Pairings/Groups: Kitayama/Fujigaya, Yamamoto/Tamamori
Warnings:Mentions of child abuse
Summary: For years living under the same roof, Tamamori and Fujigaya were more than friends, when another guy came into the picture, the true feelings they had for each other were revealed.
Notes: There is a little too much usage of hesitation notations such as, un, ano and such. Usage of very basic Japanese language are also used. Chichiue is a term for father.
The warm late winter breeze caressed his face gently as he sat himself underneath an almost naked tree. The tree that holds so much secret, secret that he himself does not know about. The tree that hold so much emotion, emotions that he himself are trying to hide most of the time. Yet the tree still stands. The fair boy just sighed as he waited for his older lover.
A soft breath tickled his ear as the owner playfully pecks him on the cheek from behind. “Hey.” He spoke softly, as his arms wrapped around the younger one. “Gomen ne, for being late again.” His voice soft as he took in a breath, filling his own lungs with the sweet smell of the younger one.
“Uun, I just came anyway.” The younger one replied, shaking his head slightly. His face was wary. Somewhat hiding what he really felt towards the older one. His face was worried, to tell the older one his true feelings. For all those years he had been depending mostly on him, he could not bear the thought of hurting the older one. Fifteen years. The amount of time they had been together. Fourteen of that the older one had been protecting him without being asked.
The older one sat himself down beside the younger one letting go of his embrace. The younger one felt like he could fall. He felt like he could break without the older one’s protection. “Yuta, what’s wrong?” The older one spoke as he lifted the younger one’s chin. The younger one just shook his head in reply. “Yuta, did he hurt you again?” The older one asked urgently as he took the younger one’s hand gently as he inspected it.
“Taisuke-kun, stop.” Tamamori said suddenly yanking his hand from the elder one’s gentle grip. Fujigaya was a little surprised by the younger one’s tone, yet he knew, something must have been bothering him, for him to be acting such as he was.
Fujigaya brought his knee nearer to his chest as he laid his cheek on his knees as he turned to face his younger one. “It’s fine, if you can’t let it out now.” He said softly. “But if, you need any help, I’m always a phone call away, ne.” He said as he reached his hand to gently caress the younger one’s hair.
A tear began to roll down his cheek as he blinked. “Gomen.” Tamamori mumbled. Fujigaya just shook his head as he took the younger ones figure into his embrace. “Gomen, for being a burden to you all these years.” He whispered as he too wrapped his arms around his lover. Fujigaya just shook his head as he wiped the crystal beads falling from Tamamori’s eyes with his thumb, shushing him as he comforted him as he always does.
He does not know what to do. He does not know what to say to Fujigaya. He wanted to break their relationship up. He needed to. His heart was somehow stolen and he was afraid to tell the older one. He was afraid to tell him that he cannot give him his heart anymore.
“Yuta-chan, just tell me anything. Don’t do this.” Fujigaya said desperately trying to comfort the younger one. He would not mind being abused and he would not mind being hurt for Tamamori, but he can never see the younger one hurt. “Did I do something wrong?” He asked suddenly.
Tamamori’s breath halted. How could he even thing of such thought. “No.” Was all escaped from his mouth. He wanted to say more, but he was too scared he could hurt Fujigaya with his words. Or even worse he could lose the only person in his life that has been protecting him against so many evil things. So much that he do not even know how to repay him.
“Yuta, please talk to me. Tell me anything.” His voice was filled with anxiousness. “No one else is here; you’re going to be alright. No one is going to hurt you.” Fujigaya reassured him. “I’ll protect you; I’ll always be by your side.” His softness was what made it harder for the younger one to tell him the truth.
Tamamori’s body sank lower as tears kept rolling down his cheek. His touch had yet to leave the younger one’s body. Not once did he let go of the younger one. Closing his eyes, taking a deep breath, Tamamori shrugged of Fujigaya’s touch. “I fell in love.” He breathed out.
Falling on his back, Fujigaya let out a relief sighed. “You little brat. Don’t you ever do that to me again.” Fujigaya said with a huge smile plastered on his face. A shocked expression took place of the earlier worried one. “I thought you might be hurt or even worse in pain emotionally.”
“But, not with you.” Tamamori stuttered. A small laugh escaped from Fujigaya’s soft lips. “I’m serious Taipi.” The younger one scolded.
“I know.” Fujigaya smiled. A he coiled his arm around the younger one’s waist. “I’ve known for a while, dear.” He said as he flashed his million watts smile to brighten the younger one’s face. “Why did you cry?” He questioned.
“I was afraid, I’d hurt you.” Tamamori said as he looked down on the smiling man who was still lying on his back.
“You can never hurt me.” Fujigaya said as he winced getting into a sitting position. Tamamori was quick to support him. “Ah~ I’m fine.” He said pulling the t-shirt on his back so that it does not rise up. “It’s the short blond guy that always chases you around the school right?” Fujigaya said changing the subject. “Ah~ I’m really bad at remembering names. Ryo something or something like that.”
“What happened?” Tamamori questioned. “Chichiue beat you up again?”
Fujigaya just shook his head. “I fell, nothing to tell.” He smiled. “What’s his name. Ah~” Fujigaya pretended to be frustrated not remembering the name of the boy.
“Taisuke-kun.” Tamamori whined.
“Ah~, Yamamoto Ryota.” Fujigaya spoke loudly causing the younger one to crimson a little. “Ne, you know, the only reason I called you my boyfriend is so that your father would not bother you as much. You are like a little brother to me. We slept in the same bed for God’s sake, how can I ever think of you as my lover.” He said as he ruffled the younger one’s hair.
Tamamori pouted as he slapped Fujigaya’s hand away from his head. “Can we get your back checked?” He said as he knelt in front of Fujigaya. Fujigaya just rolled his eyes as he rose to his feet. “Taipi. Please.” He pleaded.
“Yuta, don’t worry about me.” Fujigaya smiled as he held his hand for the younger one to take. “Come on, before your father gets angry at us again. He’s coming home early today, remember.” The younger one hesitated to move. “What’s wrong, Yuta?”
Tamamori just shook his head. “Taisuke-kun, why can’t we, no why can’t you just run away from home?” The younger one questioned naively. Fujigaya just smiled. “If mother is still here, she would treat you like her own child, but chichiue, he blames everyone for the death of mother. He blames you the most. Even though you were still six at the time. I’ll go home and take all your things and you don’t ever have to endure the pain anymore.”
Fujigaya just smiled at the innocent thought of the young boy. It is true that he have to endure the emotional torture and the beatings from the man. He did have to constantly bear with each insult and each beating that hits him. Yet he was glad for each one of it. He was glad he knew such man exist and he sworn he would never be that man ever. He was glad to have a roof above his head and he was never left to starve. Most of all he was glad to have someone so precious that he would rather die than see him hurt.
An event that happened about fifteen years ago, was still fresh in his mind even though he was barely six years old at that time. No one was at fault. He knew that much. The only one that might be at fault might be the contractor. Even that, he could not predict that the earth quake would go so badly that it shake the foundation of the house causing it to collapse on both their mothers.
Tamamori was never a friend to him. He was never just a friend. He had loved that boy more than he loved his own self since Tamamori was born. Since the day he saw the stomach of his neighbor was growing, he knew, he was not going to get a new friend, instead he was going to get a brother.
They grew up together. They shared their first love. If it could be called love. At least it was what he felt. He felt needed. He felt at home with Tamamori. He would not mind a few beating till his skin breaks every now and then, if Tamamori not touched. He would not mind the insult that degrades himself every day, as long as Tamamori would be kept out of it.
As years went by, many who sees them, dubbed them as lovers. So much that even Tamamori himself believed it. Maybe it was his nature to be gentle. It was his nature to touch and hug the other boy. Though he only touched him. Only Tamamori. He would never touch another person like he touched his precious ‘brother’. Though he realized that one day, he might just find the one he loved as much as he loved Tamamori. Though the day was yet to come.
Now, that Tamamori had confessed that he loves someone else, he too could open his heart to someone else now. He could never done it before. He could never let go of his love to Tamamori. He would never hurt the boy. Not ever.
“I can’t leave you alone in that house.” Fujigaya spoke. “The day I’ll leave you alone in that house with that man would be the day that I die.” He uttered with such grace that his words seemed to linger instead of being spat.
The image of Yamamoto and Tamamori in the roller rink just put him at ease. The passion they have together, especially while dancing is supreme. He too loves to dance. He too yearns to be happy as they were yet, he knew, his time is yet to come. “You seemed like you enjoy stalking that young dancer, don’t you?” A slightly shorter man said as he sat beside him. Uninvited. “Kitayama Hiromitsu.” He said as he bowed his head a little.
“The one who looks like a bird is actually my…” Fujigaya began, instead of listening, Kitayama cut in.
“The one who looks like a bird is your neighbor’s child. He is so close to you that you think of him as your brother, yet because everyone likes to think bad about everyone else, Yuta-kun is said to be your boyfriend. Or ex-boyfriend from what I’m seeing now.” Kitayama spoke. A soft laugh escaped Fujigaya’s lips.
“How do you know so much?” Fujigaya questioned.
Kitayama grinned slyly. “I’m your stalker?” He said with a little humor mixed in his tone.
Fujigaya smiled. “I’d be happy to have a stalker.” He said solemnly. “Why would you want to stalk someone so boring such as me?” He questioned. Kitayama just shrugged his shoulders as he continued to see the view that Fujigaya was taking.
“I wonder if the blood that flows in him flows in you as well.” Kitayama said suddenly. Fujigaya turned his head as his eyes questioned the other. “I mean the way he moves is just magic. You can see it’s almost so effortless like he’s floating. Then you see Ryo. He’s too conscious of his looks he looks almost like a little bunny hopping from one point to another. Not to say that my cousin is a bunny, but he is sometimes.” Kitayama explained.
Fujigaya smiled as he looked down on his hands. He used to love to dance but he never could. “I have to left feet, unfortunately.” He spoke softly.
“Ah, you see, there are good things you can get from two left feet.” Kitayama spoke. “You can either get a free cup of coffee or you can get a bruise.” He continued as he placed a pair of skates in front of the younger man. A loud roar of laughter took over Fujigaya as Kitayama continued to speak. It had been a while that a person can make him laugh like that.
“He’s laughing.” Tamamori said excitedly. “He’s finally laughing.” He spoke again as he threw his arms around the other boy. “Thank you, for bringing Kitayama-kun along.” A peck landed on the older one’s cheek.
The shorter boy giggled as he continued twirling and dancing with his boyfriend on the skating floor. “You know, there is nothing that I wouldn’t do to make you smile.” Yamamoto spoke. “All you need to do is ask.” He smiled revealing his dimple on his right cheek.
The cutest dimple on a cute person. What else is there Tamamori would want. He has the cutest boyfriend in the world, who has a very bubbly personality to go with it and he has a big brother that is willing to risk his life to protect him. The only thing he could wish for is happiness for the person that had been taking care of him for almost all his life.
“Yuta, I’m going out for a while, call me before going back, ne.” Fujigaya said as he got up from the bench and trailed Kitayama. A bright smile beamed from Tamamori. He was going to be alone with Yamamoto at last. “Don’t do anything I would not do, Yuta.” He said before exiting the roller ring causing the Tamamori’s cheek to crimson.
“You know, being a dancer does have its perks.” Yamamoto spoke as he heard the front door slammed shut. The roller ring was closed on a Sunday. The only reason they are in it was because Kitayama’s parents owns the place. So it was open for them whenever the wanted to use it. The left over pink flush that was still on Tamamori’s cheek deepen again.
Yamamoto grinned slyly. Round and round he skated around the blushing, barely grazing the other one’s skin, as he saw goose bumps crept through Tamamori’s slander fair hand, he stopped and held both of them in his. “Tama-chan, would you receive this pendant as a symbol of my heart for you?” He spoke seriously with expectant eyes.
All he could do was nod. All he needed to do was nod. Yamamoto tiptoed as he pulled the taller one lower as their lips locked. A soft gentle kiss, from a lover to another.
At the coffee shop not far from the skating rink, another relationship was forming. Although they are two years apart by age, but by maturity they were on the same level. Kitayama is the kind that is very easy to get along with, his hyper personality, his thousands of interests and his warmth made it that much easier for him. Especially his warmth.
“You really can’t be older than me.” Fujigaya insisted. “I mean, no offence, but you don’t look old enough to pass as twenty, you can’t possibly be twenty two.” Kitayama just laughed at the younger one’s comment. “You’re still studying right?” Kitayama nodded.
Just being there with the boy made his heart flutter. He could feel the rush of blood to his face causing them to be warm and slightly pinkish. Though Fujigaya is far than his expectation. He was no longer the cheerful little boy, he had somehow became a very tensed young man. Even more when his precious Tamamori was not in front of his eyes.
“You really don’t remember do you?” Kitayama said finally sipping his Hazelnut latte graciously. The younger one just stared at him questioningly. “Your first day in high school, someone left a piece of note in your shoe locker, the first valentine someone left you a single white rose. When you were absent, the next day you’d get a chocolate bar in your shoe locker.”
The younger one’s eyes went wide. No one beside Tamamori knew about those weird events. No one. Not one soul knew. “That was you?” He gasps.
“This might seemed cheesy, but I fell for you since the very first time I saw you when you came alone for school hunting. When I saw you smiling that day you saw your name, I was glad yet I never had enough courage to actually approach you.” Kitayama said awkwardly.
Despite his stubby looks, he was quite different really. There were a few times he drove those senior boys from bullying the younger one. There was a couple of time when he carried the young one who was too sick but still went to school and passed out without anyone knowing. Somehow he took care of the younger one silently without him even knowing.
Fujigaya fiddled with his long slander finger. He too had seen the older one around, he never knew the other was his senior and he never knew the reason he suddenly disappeared after the first summer holiday. Graduating never crossed his mind. He too felt attracted to the boy but never had he have the courage to approach anyone. He barely speaks to anyone ever besides Tamamori. He too fell in love with the other without himself even knowing.
“Ryo-chan called me yesterday and told me to meet Fujigaya Taisuke. He showed me a picture of you, I never thought in a million years that I could actually meet you and speak to you like this.” Kitayama admitted.
A soft smile curved on Fujigaya’s lips. He too thinks so. He did not even know the other’s name. “I kept something to remember you by.” He said shuffling the things in his bag only to find a group picture of the soccer club. He was right behind Kitayama. “The next term when I did not see you, I thought you might have moved. This is one other thing that kept me going all these years.” Fujigaya admitted, his eyes were roaming nervously and his cheeks too were warm from the rush of blood that was making him blush.
They were both crimsoned with embarrassment when the two younger one came. Yamamoto being the brat he was teased, his older cousin mercilessly, while Tamamori held his angel with gleeful eyes.
“Baka.” They heard Kitayama said loudly as a smack landed on Yamamoto’s head. Wincing in pain, he pouted as he search for comfort from Tamamori. The other just smiled warmly at him. Somehow asked him to endure the idiocy he had brought upon himself. “What do you see in this midget, I can never understand.” he said tutting.
Tamamori giggled as he shrugged. “Dad is not coming home today ne. Do you think it’d be okay if we stay out a little later tonight?” Fujigaya shrugged. “Tai-chan, I’d be fine. I promise. We’re just going for a movie.” He said quietly, his voice was indifferent yet his eyes were pleading. It took Fujigaya a while to approve. Even then he was hesitating. Gaily Tamamori wrapped his arms around the big brother figure he had had for so long.
That night he too went out with Kitayama. They did not go for anything fancy. Just star gazing underneath a full moon. The night breeze was getting a little colder and even in his jacket, Fujigaya shivered slightly.
A pair of warm arms coiled around him from his back. In those hands was a bottle of warm chocolate drink. The same one that was left for him at the nurse’s office. He turned his head to face the other boy when their lips accidently met. It was then that their lips were accidently locked and he could feel the warmth of the other radiates through his body.
“I’ve loved you for so long.” The older one spoke through his kiss. Letting go of the warm drink in his hand, he embraced the younger one tightly but delicately.
Fujigaya too returned the embrace as well as the kiss passionately. “Don’t disappear again.” He hissed. “Don’t ever let go.” As the moon and the stars as their witness, the two of them sworn their life to each other. With a promise sealed with a kiss, they would never be separated again, unless death tear them apart.